Holy understatements, Batman! This wedding is an absolute marvel!

BY ANNIE MOLENAAR

Let us introduce you to the new Mr and Mrs Moustachio, or as their friends call them, Paulie and Chrissie.

The coldest of the cool.

The strangest of the strange.

Chrissie and Paulie are fucking out there and we love them. They also managed to pull off one of the coolest weddings of all time and were kind enough to want to share it with us/you.

Before we talk about their awesome wedding, we want to tell you a bit about how these two met because, well, it’s a good story. I was lucky enough to receive a copy of their ceremony so I decided to rip off their celebrant’s words and copy and paste them here because frankly, I don’t think I can tell their story any better myself. So, here ‘tis…

Chrissie and Paul met some time ago. I’m told, 4.87 years ago, to be exact. It’s the 21st century and luckily they both swiped right. they agreed to meet at Newcastle Beach. Chrissie had been to the gym and thought she had time for a cheeky kebab before the meet up. Sitting in her car, wholly engrossed in said kebab, she was startled by a rapping, as if someone gently tapping, tapping at her chamber door. Sorry, that’s a different thing. Nevermore!

Now, where was I? Oh yes. Halfway through the kebab, a loud knock from her prospective date on the car window, saw Chrissie jump and drop the leftover kebab straight into her lap. No harm, no foul. Paul was undeterred. They spent the rest of the date laying by the beach, in the tray of his ute, romantically watching ghost stories on youtube. 

And they pretty much hit it off instantly.

BOOM!

When asked, what made them fall in love with one another, Paul said, “She could put her whole mouth around a kebab, I knew she was the one.” Chrissie said, “He had tattoos, a beard and motorbikes. I knew he was the one.”

When I asked them what was most important to them on their wedding day, their response was pretty straight forward:

“The only thing we ever wanted from our wedding, which was the end goal through the whole planning process, were three things: No tradition (avoid it at all costs and only do the legal necessities); Host a Big Party, more like an extravaganza or show, not a Wedding; Batman – we would only get married if Batman married us, or it wasn’t going to happen.”

They requested that all devices be kept away and avoided any posts on social media. They wanted to keep all details private and have the ability to release their photos before anyone else.

“My dress was from Unique Vintage online. It was released in January 2017 as a ball gown. I knew the moment I saw it, it was my dress. I never looked at any others, nor did I try it on. I just purchased it and had it sent direct from the UK.”

Also, cop a load of that Suicide Squad Harley Quinn bat. Phwoar. The flower girl walked down the aisle with that!

Chrissie’s dad passed away three years ago. He loved his orchids but although they had planted them at home, they never bloomed. This year, for the first time they bloomed a month before the wedding. So, at the last minute, the orchids were cut and sent to their cake maker with the rest of the toppers to decorate the cake. The orchids became their feature flower throughout their wedding and they were all from the garden at home… they’re all from Dad.

They cut the cake with a meat cleaver to ‘Prisoner of Society’ by Living End.

“We would only get married if Batman married us, or it wasn’t going to happen.”

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you CELEBATMAN! Yes, this is their celebrant. Otherwise known as Monty King.

They found Monty on the Sassy Celebrants page and knew instantly he was the guy for them. When filling out his contact form, Chrissie couldn’t help but feel a little rush of excitement as it asked, ‘Marvel or DC?’ She checked both boxes and then shot him a message with their very specific request for a celebrant who would be willing to deliver their ceremony dressed as Batman. It didn’t take Monty long to respond. He didn’t say anything, instead just sent them photos of himself in his Batman costume.

They paid their deposit straight away.

Aside from having Batman marry them, they also wrote some pretty incredible vows to each other and they are letting us share those too! Their generosity knows no bounds!! Get ready to be inspired.

Here’s Paulie’s:

Today's the day my life begins.  

All my life I've been the black sheep, lost in a big world. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you and to our future. 

I ask you, don’t lead, I'll wander off and get bored. Don’t follow, I'll get you lost. Walk beside me and cause mayhem together.

I cannot promise to stop buying projects, car and bike parts. 

I cannot promise to make good financial decisions like selling my car to buy an oversized gumball machine. 

I cannot promise I will stick out the same job longer than 12 months. 

But I can promise I will always love you, the level of this may fluctuate sometimes.

I'll always be here for you... well in the shed or Gramp's shed... I'll be close. 

You're my best friend, I'm looking forward to our future.

And here’s Chrissie’s:

I googled my vows, turns out I had to write my own. So I googled memes and fuckology quotes instead. That’s our level of love, humour and promises. So to you Paulie...

I promise to continue to sit on the sofa, play on my phone and watch Netflix with you instead of dealing with our adult problems. 

I promise to continue to be your best friend and match your your level of quirk daily. 

I promise to continue to hold your morals when you have sketchy things to do like you do with mine. 

I promise to continue to look at you as I’ve always done, without saying a word and know we’re making fun of the same person. 

I promise to continue to love you and hate you all at the same time. 

Most of all, I promise to be with you until you’re old and grey so we can go into a home together to have wheelchair races and hot nurse sponge baths. 

You’re my rock; my solid foundation. You’re everything I live and breathe. You’re the black in my soul and the glitter in my veins. 

Thank you for choosing me to ruin your life with. But most of all, thank you for not finding my obsession with serial killers and dead things terrifying enough to report me to the local authorities. For that I love you most! 

“I cannot promise to make good financial decisions like selling my car to buy an oversized gumball machine.”

“But most of all, thank you for not finding my obsession with serial killers and dead things terrifying enough to report me to the local authorities.”

Other details:

Budget: 20K. They reckon they did it just under 15K. Amazing!

No first dance but Paulie and his best mate, Scott, had a dance off to Elton John’s ‘I’m Still Standing’. Then Chrissie and her dance partner, Luke, crashed their dance off by tearing up the D-floor with their own rockabilly flavour.

Live music was provided by all-round local Newcastle legends, Trio Genr8, who also happen to be life-long friends of Chrissie’s.

At the beginning of the reception they lit candles for their dads, who have both passed away, to the tune of Drop Kick Murphy’s ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’

Chrissie walked down the aisle to with her brother to ‘This is Me’ by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble from the movie “The Greatest Showman”. Batman followed behind.

When I asked them what their favourite part of their day was, this is what they said:

“The entire day was exactly what we wanted. We were able to pull off our ultimate goal and that set the standard. We chose every little thing that was involved. The exact songs and timing; the exact people as suppliers; handmade decorations; custom bridesmaid dresses; black wedding dress; bouquets; batman; cake; location - the lot. We knew who we needed for the job and every person involved is a very close and great friend of ours. So it ended up being more personal than just hiring a bunch of suppliers. That’s the favourite part of our day.”

Vendors:

Cake: Rebecca Saunders of Bec’s Custom Creations

Florist: Nat from The Petal Collective

Celebrant: Monty King & Batman from Monty King Celebrations

Stylist: Chrissie Moustachio – The Bride

Planner: Chrissie Moustachio, The Bride with the help of her best friend Kate Bond and Awaba House Wedding Coordinator, Aleisha Preston from Awaba House

Venue: Awaba House

Dress: Unique Vintage

Suit: Pants, Shirt & Braces from Tarocash

Hair: Laurie Maddox from Hair by Laurie

Makeup: Dean Blacq from The Boys  

Stationary: All signage, invitations and stationery all designed by Chrissie Moustachio, The Bride and printed by Genr8 Printing

Music: Yianni Moratidis, Peter Young and Paul Rothapfel Genr8 Entertainment

Photographer: Underatreehouse

Rings: Heirlooms Jewellers

ALL IMAGES SUPPLIED BY UNDERATREEHOUSE - THANKS LEGENDS